THE EX FACTOR #30

November 30, 2014 Jaybee 1 Comments


“…and so the dominoes begin to fall the very moment you peeped out of your mum’s vagina. You probably might not be reading this, had you been born an hour later.”

I read over what I just typed again to see if it was error free and I could go back to what I was doing. What exactly was I doing? Packing my things and taking a break from the whole drama in this concrete jungle cos sincerely, it was needed.
Mum had attempted coming over to Lagos but I insisted travelling down south to see her. I had used that as the much needed alibi to travel and I had announced it to all my ‘friends’ at the welcome home or was it welcome back party they called the little merrying we had a couple of days ago?

I sat back in my chair, threw my head back over it and let out a deep thoughtful sigh.
“How could she?” I thought to myself. “How could Kate go as far as murder to get ‘the man of her dreams’?... How did she even know Tunde was her ideal man?... Well, I’m not in her dreams though but in every way I had tried looking at it, it has never looked right. That would be the lost classified file that would never be heard from me as far as this whole brain disturbing saga was concerned. I felt very sorry for June. We only know those who we are watching. We never can tell who’s watching us. Be fast to make acquaintances but really slow to make friends. That’s the word for June cos I’m sure she’ll slit Kate’s throat without batting an eyelid if she ever gets to know what Kate did to her.

At times, I just wouldn’t know exactly what to think of the turn of events ever since ‘Believe’ told me at that bar about the arrival of June, his uni days love and the sudden increase of Titi towards me, also her uni days love. Their relationship should definitely win or vy for an award in the top twenty most complicated relationship. I wouldn’t blame Titi that much, cos obviously, she thought the only way to get back at her fiancé who thought he was a smooth criminal was by getting involved in the same crime… with me. It was not going to work though, thanks to my self-control.
But what if Dave hadn’t gotten down with June and there hadn’t been anything scandal on ground, compounded by the fact that June was carrying Believe’s love child? Would that have made this whole story less twisted and complicated than it was? Or had I given in to Titi’s advancements and Dorothy’s dad hadn’t showed up when he did. Would that had made this whole story more twisted and complicated? 
The decisions we make today not only affect tomorrow. They can end up shaping what one’s future looks exactly like and make or mar that future. That’s the power of decisions.

I stood up from my workstation and made my way to the room, stopped at the doorway and looked at my two packed bags.
“Why do I feel like I’m running away from something? And what exactly am I even running away from?”
I guess I’m running from the smoke of the drama, the unending effort to keep everything together instead of falling apart. The unavoidable fix it Felix character who keeps trying to get everything fixed and making some thought provoking decisions. I could fix everyone’s relationship issues but my own. Everyone was back to their normal lives, settled in their spouse's nest except me. What does that tell me? I need some lone time? Yeah, exactly.
And if that wasn’t enough, my wrecked car I saw a few days ago confirmed to me that you should rid yourself of everything that would keep plaguing your mind, irrespective of where you are and what you’re doing. Those issues would always keep your mind busy and you can only afford that luxury if you can afford a driver and drown away in thoughts at the owner’s corner before you endanger your life and the lucky ones that happen to choose to have the ride with you.

My phone rang.

“Hey Kate what’s going on?”

Kate did not reply and someone sobbing and sniffing at the other end of the line was all could hear.

“Are you alright Kate?... Can you hear me?”

“Yea… I can hear you. I… I thought about what you told me in the car the day I was bringing you home from the hospital and to be honest with you, my conscience is pricking me pretty badly. I even feel like a husband snatcher just like you said and there’s no one else to talk to. That’s why I’m calling. I’m sorry Jay. I know what I did was very stupid and can’t be heard of.”

I removed my phone from my left ear, looked at the screen and returned it back. I was a bit confused at why Kate was telling me she was sorry when I’m not the one she offended but I know that feeling when you’ve gravely offended someone and you think apologizing to someone else is going to ease the weight of the guilt you feel. It actually works sometimes and at times, it’s just a waste of time.

“I think you should call June and talk to her. Beg her, apologize to her and hope she finds a space in her heart to forgive you. That’s all I can say.”

“No please don’t!” Kate quickly cut in. “Don’t even think about it. I’m dead if June ever gets to know about this. And I beg you in the name of God. Don’t try to fix this for me and don’t forget you gave me your word not to tell anyone about this.”

“And I won’t but please don’t call me about this issue ever again. I don’t wanna hear anything about it. alright?”

“Ok sir. Take care and have a safe flight.”

“Thanks.”

If June would ever know what Kate did so she could choose her desired form of revenge, only time would tell. If Dave would ever know what Kate did so he could choose his desired form of appreciation, only time would tell. But like they always say, there are always two sides to a story. There’s always the one dying as a result of the war, and there’s always one political idiot, feeding off the war. That’s life and one of its multifaceted appearances. I had given Kate my word and won’t go back on it. so if anyone was gonna hear about Kate’s secret of being the Mother Nature we so very often talked about and appreciated for giving Believe a second chance, it would be from Kate herself but as for me, I think I’ve had enough of this already.
The best advice anyone could give me was the one Kate herself did give me. Any attempt to try to clean up her mess would not only drag me further down the tunnel but would also reveal that the whole tunnel is not a straight one but a maze where you almost can’t get out without the rippers catching up with you. I need to use my head.
I need not feel bad about Lizzy and Dorothy which almost would’ve been my only glitch but I had better be happy that I had not taken Lizzy home to meet my ‘no-nonsense’ mum after which her baby papa then shows up. Mum would’ve frustrated me to death with that scenario and painted a very ugly picture of the whole thing even though she wasn’t there. She does a very pretty job with the mixture of both her sense of humour and her sarcasm. Although I couldn’t deny that I loved both mother and daughter, I wasn’t the kind of person to put up a fight over something I want which is already owned by someone else. I’d do better to be part of their history than hurt everyone, myself especially with the happy turned sour memories. I know better than that.


3 hours later, I was seated quietly in my seat in the aircraft, gently comforted that my thoughts here would in no way endanger anyone’s life including mine. I let out a wry smile as my phone rang.

“Hello mum”

“How are you?”

“I’m fine. I’m inside the plane already. I should be home in about an hour and half.”

“Alright. Have you prayed?”

“Yes I have.”

“Safe journey my boy”

“Thanks mum.” I chuckled and shook my head. Shout out to every mum out there, all over the world.

With the announcement of the airline’s departure and the instruction for seatbelts to be fastened, I bid a good farewell to all the escapades of the last couple of months, how one event had led to ten others and cementing the fact that life itself is a stack of dominoes and that statement ‘one thing led to another’ being the briefest definintion of life in its totality. The very moment you win the race amongst the one million sperms shot into your mum’s fertility industry or reproductive region… and so the dominoes begin to fall the very moment you peeped out of your mum’s vagina. You probably might not be reading this, had you been born an hour later.”

Who will heal the doctor, teach the teacher and who will make the comedian laugh?... because we all need fixing.


Mature Minds Talk.

The Ex Factor episodes #1 to #30 are all the imaginative work of the writer Elijah Jaybee (@Jaybee_Twhy). Any correlation to events or description of any person living or dead is purely coincidental. Thank you.
T.E.F © 2014

1 comments:

THE EX FACTOR #29

November 23, 2014 Jaybee 0 Comments



Little drops of water make a mighty ocean. Little gathering of steps make a long journey. Little collection of mistakes make…?


The gentility of the evening breeze and the fluent flow with which it subtly caressed my face was really relieving but the relieve couldn’t be compared to the fact that in a few minutes I’m going to be leaving this hospital ward that nearly turned to the graveyard of my character except for the stunt I pulled, just in the nick of time.

0 comments:

NERDS AND BRACES

November 21, 2014 Jaybee 0 Comments


Hello everyone, hope you're good?
Lets quickly dissect, dismember and disintegrate the topic up there... Lol! (Just trying to be vocab nerd lord!)

So who is a NERD?

Nerd (adjective: nerdy) is a descriptive term, often used pejoratively, indicating that a person is overly intellectual, obsessive, or socially impaired. They may spend inordinate amounts of time on unpopular, obscure, or non-mainstream activities, which are generally either highly technical or relating to topics of fiction or fantasy, to the exclusion of more mainstream activities.
Additionally, many nerds are described as being shy, quirky, and unattractive, and may have difficulty participating in, or even following, sports. Though originally derogatory, "Nerd" is a stereotypical term, but as with other pejoratives, it has been reclaimed and redefined by some as a term of pride and group identity.

Personality and physical appearance

Stereotypical nerds are commonly seen as intelligent but socially and physically awkward. They would typically be perceived as either lacking confidence or being indifferent or oblivious to the negative perceptions held of them by others, with the result that they become frequent objects of scorn, ridicule, bullying, and social isolation. However, many nerds may eventually find a group of similar people to associate with.

Because of the nerd stereotype, many smart people are often thought of as nerdy. This belief can be harmful, as it can cause high school students to "switch off their lights" out of fear of being branded as one of them, and cause otherwise appealing people to be nerdy simply for their intellect. It was once thought that intellectuals were nerdy because they were envied. However, Paul Graham stated in his essay, "Why Nerds are Unpopular", that intellect is neutral, meaning that you are neither loved or despised for it. He also states that it is only the correlation that makes smart teens automatically seem nerdy, and that a nerd is someone that is not socially adept enough. Additionally, he says that the reason why many smart kids are unpopular is that they "don't have time for the activities required for popularity.”

Stereotypical "nerd" appearance includes very large glasses, braces, severe acne and pants highly lifted up. In the media, many nerds are white males, portrayed as being physically unfit, either overweight or very thin. It has been suggested by some, that being a nerd may be a state of being "hyperwhite" and rejecting African-American culture and slang that "cool" white children use. However, after a few deeper observations, nerds have been seen in all races and colors as well as more recently being a frequent young Asian or Indian male stereotype.

Portrayal of "nerd girls", in films such as She's Out of Control, Welcome to the Dollhouse and She's All That depicts that smart but nerdy women might suffer later in life if they do not focus on improving their physical attractiveness.

A 2010 study indicated that Asian Americans are perceived as most likely to be nerds, followed by White Americans, while non-White Hispanics and Black Americans were perceived as least likely to be nerds.
This stereotype may be socially damaging due to exclusion. Among Whites, Jews are perceived as the nerdiest and are stereotyped in similar ways to Asians.


Thanks to wiki, that’s all I can put here on Nerds. Well, I’ve sometimes been shot the ‘N’ word myself but in all the scenarios, I’ve had to laugh about it cos I know I might be close, but I’m not a nerd… probably with some measures, not even close. (Recent one is some peeps saying I use my data plan to watch CNN. Whatever that’s means- Speak of Nerds and braces.)

The point I'll finally drive home is: If you need a very intelligent partner, you might want to overlook physical appearance… and if you want a very attractive spouse, you might want to overlook spectacular intelligence.

Mother Nature and her very many ways of laughing at us though.

Well, less I forget. If you need both intelligence and physical appearance check me out in ‘The Team’ page. Lol! *Covers face*

If you’ve ever been Nerd branded or bullied, you could also share your experience.

Thanks everyone. See you guys later.


Mature Minds Talk.

0 comments:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO SOMEONE SPECIAL

November 18, 2014 Jaybee 1 Comments

Happy Birthday to someone very special.

Times and seasons goes by fast but not fast enough to forget your special day boo. I could still remember our conversation over the phone a couple of months ago when I was racking my brain over the name to choose for my site. Lol!... At last we eureka-ed Mature Minds Talk and guess what?

1 comments:

THE EX FACTOR #28

November 16, 2014 Jaybee 0 Comments


Listen to the voice of your heart. Mother Nature gives tells gives it a sign when she wants to make a joke out of you.

“…and I can’t lie I was happy when I heard the news of her miscarriage. Although a part of me felt very sorry for her, I still felt like I was being naturally given a second chance by Mother Nature.

0 comments:

'UNDERWEAR BANDIT' GETS POLICE WARNING

November 14, 2014 Jaybee 1 Comments



Alaska State Troopers are urging Kodiak residents to lock their doors to protect from an "underwear bandit" targeting women's drawers.
Troopers issued a dispatch on Wednesday informing Kodiak residents of numerous reports of burglaries involving "various items such as women's underwear" being "stolen or rifled through."

1 comments:

I'M GETTING MENTAL HELP - LUIS SUAREZ

November 14, 2014 Jaybee 0 Comments

The 27-year-old is taking his anger issues seriously and has sought specialist help in a bid to ensure the red mist never descends again

Barcelona star Luis Suarez has revealed how he is receiving psychological help in a bid to overcome the anger problems that have seen him suspended twice in 15 months for biting opposition players.

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THE EX FACTOR #27

November 09, 2014 Jaybee 1 Comments



There’s always light at the end of the tunnel… for tunnels that have an end.

“So you mean you wished I’ll never come back because you’re happy with Jay?”… “Why didn’t you tell me this before so I can disappear back to wherever it was I emerged from…?” Lizzy’s fiancé grumbled after Lizzy’s six or seven minute’s confession speech.

1 comments:

ORAL SEX AND CANCER

November 06, 2014 Jaybee 0 Comments


Can Oral Sex Give You Cancer?

Oral cancers are sometimes called head and neck cancers, and include cancers of the mouth, lip and tongue, as well as cancers of the tonsils, oesophagus, larynx (voice box), nasopharynx (the area that connects the nose and throat) and the thyroid gland.

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THE EX FACTOR #26

November 02, 2014 Jaybee 1 Comments


“Why do bad things happen to good people?” is a question not only stating clear the irony of life, but also confirming that without ironies life is meaningless.


I opened my eyes to a whole different hospital ward unlike earlier. It was probably the heat generating from the seven people around my bed that woke me up. Dave, Titi, Doc and Mikee were on the right hand side of my bed. Kate, a black dude and most surprisingly, Lizzy’s husband, whose name will never stick to my head for unknown reasons were the spectators on the left- Lizzy wasn’t even in the room.

1 comments: