IS LOVE REALLY ENOUGH? - OPINION

January 30, 2017 Jaybee 0 Comments


Hey Guys,
Long time.

So, most of us caught wind of the viral photo of the young Kenyan couple that got married with just Ksh100 (just enough money to buy 2 rings).

In case you did not follow up on the story, a list of companies and individuals have indicated interest to sponsor a well organized wedding and honey moon for them. A business outfit have even offered to set up a business for the new wife (why the wife though?).

Thing is though; I personally don't think that love is not enough to sustain a marriage, and I'm not sure they gave their action a thorough think-through. I mean, there are some challenges/situations that would ask a couple, questions that love can't answer (only money can answer those questions).

It's not a bad thing that they decided to tie the knot after being totally sure about their love for each other, but would I be wrong to say they focused solely on love and discarded every other aspect of the marriage - Maturity, Stability, Capability, Sustainability, Independence, and so on?

The priest, rather than join them together could've counselled them not to be in a hurry but from some other people's perspective, they actually did the right thing. The man is 26, and the woman is 24 - An age many believed was ripe enough to get the green light.



But I think marriage (not wedding) doesn't really depend on the age you tie knot. It actually depends on your readiness and when you feel you're "indeed" up to the task to accept the responsibility of parenthood; because whether you like it or not, a third entity would soon be introduced into the equation. Then, you might realize that even though love conquereth all things, not everything needs conquering.

Some things just need answering, all you know what the good book said answereth all things.

Ok, enough of my "talkie talkie" - What do you guys think? Do you think it was right and wise for them to tie the knot, or it would've been better, had they waited and doubled their hustle (why did that sound awkward? Lol!)

Over to you.



Mature Minds Talk.

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WHAT IS SPECIAL ABOUT THE AGOYIN?

January 26, 2017 Jaybee 0 Comments

Hmmm… Instagram

Sometimes, after the day’s work, most of which involves mental exercises, Instagram is one of the places I visit for stress relief. Thanks to accounts like Funny African Pix, Kraks HQ, & Twyse_116. Those are the ones I keep tabs with. Yes, I know there are a lot of them; both the funny ones and the desert dry ones. But who has time (no, not data) to be watching funny videos “upandan”?

I had seen different people with a funny pose of a Buddhist-like palm vertically (and strategically) placed in front of their faces. So on this fateful day, my mission on Instagram was different – I needed answers. Is there some “Asian flu”, “Religious brouhaha”, or what? It didn’t take long to find my answer – Falz the good guy (What’s bad about the guy abeg? Even his ‘Boda Taju’ accent is pretty good).

I found myself checking out different #WehdoneSir poses, and if like me you sometimes wander on the internet, you’ll understand the next turn of events – This is where things got really interesting – I clicked to check someone’s profile, from there, I checked someone else’s profile and I found myself watching a video of a lady eating bread and beans – ‘Hollup!’ Not just any bread and beans.

The ancient, ever green, irreplaceable, possessive, stress relieving Agege Bread featuring Ewa Agoyin (I believe this is one of the reasons Nigeria can never divide).

“Wow!... I like the fact that my complimentary delivery was neatly packaged and the meal is also delicious. Hmm… Thank you so much Agoyin Special. You just got yourself a customer”.

After watching her recite those words, I checked her video caption, saw a funny looking handle (@agoyinspecial) and the explorer in me continued – I clicked!

You see, we just might keep struggling until we can start seeing, when others are looking.
Your break wouldn’t necessarily come by invention. It would most likely come by innovation. “Find an idea that’s working around you, tweak it so much, people don’t know where it came from” – Wise words from a bright man.

My own remix of those words: …and even if you can’t tweak it too much, just rePACKAGE it and put it back in the market. The lady who buys fruits (apple, cucumber, pineapple, etc), takes it home, dices it and re-sells it in a neatly packaged takeaway pack as her branded Fruit Salad, hasn’t done much, except idealizing and rePACKAGING.

Back to the story: I found myself on an IG account of some official Agoyin sellers. The PACKAGING was top notch and they even have a website. Haa!... For the same Agoyin some women carry in the pot on my street every morning – PACKAGING. Nothing is special about their Agoyin, except you probably have to go to their website, place your order and your Agoyin is delivered like pizza.

Never underestimate the POP in any business you’re doing – I mean the Power Of Packaging.
PACKAGING sets your biz apart from the rest.


Cheers folks!



Mature Minds Talk.

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WDYT - TOO MANY MALE FRIENDS

January 13, 2017 Jaybee 0 Comments


Hello Sir,

Compliments of the season to you. My name is Emmanuel. I am a Journalist and a newscaster. I’m happily married and I don’t have any issue per say, but here I am, still writing what might probably go live on your website, on any of these Friday's What Do You Think Series.

The thing is, my wife, who I’ve been married to for 3 years now, has too many friends. I wouldn’t have had any problem with that, or probably not as much problem with that as I have now, except these many friends are male friends. She has so many male friends to an extent that I feel is inappropriate for a married woman.

I’m not typically a jealous type but I must be very honest, this scenario, on several occasions test my ability to not be jealous. I don’t know how she came about them all but they’re always multiplying or something. I know she’s a marketer in her bank but I’m not sure if that is how every “married” female bank marketers have a congregation of male friends.

I wouldn’t want to say this whole scenario isn’t getting to me – at least, here I am writing a letter about it, but I just want to know what do to get along with the flow (even though I'll rather end it). She has always had a few male friends before we got married but it didn’t bother me then. From the childhood friend, the ex-school mate, the brother in the church, the colleague at work, the social media chat buddy, even to her phone repairer (like who the hell keep tabs with their phone repairers?!)

Many of them like that. Although one thing I'm very sure of is that she’s not cheating on me. Not because I sniff around for signs but because I trust my gut and she’s a terrible liar. So, I feel the moment she starts cheating, it won’t take long for me to know. But these her friends are something to write home about. Every time I bring it up, she says “when did it become a crime to have friends, whether as a single or married person?” She just seem oblivious of the point. 

I sound like I’m ranting but the thing is paining me because it’s slowly getting to a point where she’ll have to choose between us or her fans (as I call them). I don’t know if any of your readers are in any similar situation, and maybe they can help out with how to deal with situations like this. It’s frustrating and I’m really getting fed up.

What do you think I should do? Do I just look the other way and just be thankful that at least, she isn’t cheating, or do I put my foot down and tell her to be done with her male friends?... or is there any other better way to go about this?



Thank you.




Mature Minds Talk.

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LIFE LESSON FROM A WASHING MACHINE

January 11, 2017 Jaybee 0 Comments

“The world we live in is full of infinite wisdom, and that’s why there’s always something to learn from every experience”
“However bad an experience may seem, always ask yourself – What is the good in this?”
- Wise words from a bright man.

Here is the story that y’all have been waiting for – Jaybee’s Washing Machine Saga. *inserts nollywood soundtrack*

So it happened sometime last week when I decided to do my laundry. I went to consult this same washing machine in question, with the few clothes I had to wash.

Amongst these clothes was one shirt – It was my most prized shirt. Simple Hawes and Curtis but relatively expensive (If it can pay for two nights in a standard hotel, Lol… Shebi e try?). I normally would wash it alone but I guess I was just in life’s classroom that day.

I tumbled the clothes into the machine and set the timer. The clothes began to spin. “Na here the story con tie wrapper” (local parlance… If you don't know, ask someone for the meaning). As I turned to go, I saw my little face towel lying helplessly on the chair not too far. It practically looked like it was crying “I’m dirty too”

“I have enough clothes in there already” I thought… Then I thought again “What harm can a small face towel do?” and on I went, picked up the evil thing (you’ll understand later) and flung it into the machine. (I would later learn that I shouldn’t have done that).

You see, this year, while we have expensive ideas, brilliant charisma, outstanding character, and all sorts, we must be very protective of who we roll with... or who rolls with us. It’s too late for us to be NOBODY, hence, we are not allowed to roll with EVERYBODY. A large chunk of who you become tomorrow is as a result of who you choose to associate yourself with today.

What happened after the machine stopped spinning. I opened the lid and my heart skipped two beats. My white shirt had turned bright yellow – No thanks to the snaky face towel that decided to shed its skin in the water. My shirt was ruined!

N70 face towel!... Hawes and Curtis! (It kept playing in my head like a new single... Lol!)

I felt bad, but then it got me thinking about life. The washing machine could simply signify our schools, churches, offices, shops, and any other place we can’t but mingle with people. Face towels would always try to get to our Hawes and Curtis (they will. Trust me). This is a very risky situation, because these people don’t know jack but they act like they are paid special advisers.

Face towels don’t know, and they don’t know that they don’t know. Even when they are made to realize they don’t know, they still take glory and majesty in their ignorance. When you spot face towels trying to influence your Hawes and Curtis ideas (trust me, they can be quick influencers too), don’t ponder on what to do abeg. Just SWERVE!

This year, face towels will come as friends, relatives, brethren and "Sistren"(excuse my french) just anyone. Sharpen your insight and you’ll see them. Those who can’t see us past where we are now, let alone where we’re head. The "Now" people with no foresight. Jack of all trades, master of nada! Always looking for who to counsel.

Please, biko, dan’allah, ejo, mbok, let us not roll with face towels in 2017 if we value our Hawes and Curtis. (Ko le werk... It wee nur work).


Thank You.


p.s: Hypo di nur change back di colour o! (Lol!)... Any suggestions?



Mature Minds Talk.

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WDYT - I DON'T KNOW IF I'M A SINGLE MUM

January 06, 2017 Jaybee 2 Comments

Hello,

How are you doing?

I’ve been following your Friday What Do You Think Series, and even I’ve dropped a comment or two when I could – I’m not really someone to share my personal issues but I would, this one, ‘cos I’ve sincerely had it up to here.

I’ll really appreciate it if I can get an opinion or two from mature minds, like the name of your website indicates.

My name is Danielle (name changed) and I’m 31 years old. I stay in Lagos with my husband of three years and I must say this year, 2016 has been the most tedious year for us and our kid. I met my husband in February 2011 a few months before he travelled to the UK, for his masters. He is smart, hardworking and loving. In short, my dream man.

After he came back to Nigeria in December 2012, he got a handsomely paying job with an Oil and Gas Company and we got married a couple of months later – February 2013, precisely. I was three months gone as at then. I also got a job at a bank and I must say the beginning of our marriage was the one of my dreams.

March 2014, was when all the problems started. The company underwent their useless needed restructuring and my husband got laid off. We were undertaking a personal project when this happened and saying the occurrence hit him hard is an extreme understatement. It took him a couple of months to start eating well, and to go back to his jovial and normal self.

It was depressing but I thank God, he didn’t slip into depression. He got another job three months later but resigned a couple of months later. He got another job with one of my uncle’s friends, just a month later but that also lasted a few months – he resigned. My uncle told me his friend told him he always acted like he wasn’t supposed to be there, and it badly affected his delivery.

Since then, he hadn’t even bothered getting another job. I’ve been the one shouldering the responsibility of the family, the best and most humble way I can. All he’s done is gone for a couple of interviews and nothing else after that. All pleas for him to start something on the side while the search goes on has fallen on deaf ears.

I haven’t really made much of a big deal about this, except occasional arguments when I feel the weight of it all on my shoulders. And oh, asides from being a banker, I’m also a make-up artist. One thing I’ve tried to avoid whenever we argue is bring his career status into it. The economic recession this year changed all that. It was too much for me. I had times when I broke down crying when alone.

I almost don’t have anything to show in my savings account because I always made it seem he’s the one doing everything. The recession (probably not), made us argue almost every day. But I’m always quick to apologize and come back to my senses that I can’t argue or fight with the head of my home.

A month ago, he left the house for days and after much searching, I found out he’s been drinking and smoking, and going to brothels. I almost ran mad. We’ve not spoken since then ‘cos I also angrily left the house with my daughter to my friend’s.

I sincerely don’t know what to do – Whether it’s to plead with him to forgive me for… (I don’t know) or just leave him to enjoy himself. Or… I don’t know – I’m heartbroken. I do my best to keep our secrets secret but this is all I get in return. I don’t know what to do and asides the fact I feel like a single mum, I still love him and don’t want to lose him.


I’ll also like to know your opinion on this issue.



Thanks a lot and have a Merry Christmas in advance.




Danielle.




Mature Minds Talk.

2 comments:

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

January 03, 2017 Jaybee 0 Comments


Yaay!!!

You made it!... The last time you visited Mature Minds Talk was last year. Wasn't it?
Well, thank God we all are favoured enough to accept the gift of a brand new year. It's indeed by God's grace that we're still standing, spite of everything the year just passed threw at us.


Well, this year is a colorful year already. Well organized and very ready to be shaped into your best year so far.
This year, As you think it, and work towards it, You'll celebrate over it.
Don't be scared to lay your hands on something because it will surely prosper.

This year,
May you see the invisible.
May you feel the abstract.
May you do the impossible.
May you rise above it all.

Go and personify Awesomeness.

Happy New Year to every reader of this blog wherever you are. Happy New Year to you... yes, YOU!

I love you guys.


Let's go rock 2017. It's gonna be great.

Have fun and enjoy a fantastic year.


Elijah Ogidi-Olu,




Mature Minds Talk.

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