WDYT - I'LL OSTRACIZE MY WIFE FROM HER FAMILY

November 25, 2016 Jaybee 3 Comments


Hello there,

How are you?

Hope you’re ready again for another interesting episode of our Friday’s what do you think?
Thanks for the feedback from readers; I appreciate… Although, I’ll appreciate it more if you can drop those comments in the comment section. Isn’t it what it’s there for? *side eye*
Before, I forget, if you want to anonymously drop a comment on any of our posts, you can do so. Rather than enter your name and email, just select anonymous in the comment section below. Thank you.

Also, according to suggestions, I won’t be saying it in second person pronouns (She/He). I’ll be copying and pasting the write-ups we have so you guys can read it in “I” mode. Thanks to the two readers who brought up the suggestion and I totally agree with them.
So, without wasting time, it’s the WDYT for today.

Here we go!


                                    I’LL OSTRACIZE MY WIFE FROM HER FAMILY

Hi, my name is Richard and I’ve been following your blog for a long time. I even do check on it even when you didn’t post for a long period of time. Good job you’re doing here but be more consistent.

Now, I’ve been married for 8 years but what I’m writing about started some time ago. My wife is caring, loving and everything I want in a woman but I’m about to make a decision that I hope would not tear us apart. That’s why I want to seek opinions first.

You see, my wife has one bad habit, and that’s “Pity” she’s the 21st century Mother Theresa. She can pity human, animal, living thing and non-living thing. This shouldn’t have been my headache but it has become a thorn in my flesh.

We gave birth to our first child/daughter three years into our marriage and since then one of her brothers have been staying with us – Fast forward to today, she has three siblings, all male and one of her friends staying in the house with us.

As if that isn’t even enough, these grown up younger brothers (and even her friend sometimes) ask her for cash. Especially the youngest, who is twenty. The second is twenty-three and the oldest is twenty-five. She’s way older than her immediate younger brother.

I’m not asking her not to take care of her family, at least I take care of mine but carrying all their burden isn’t making me a financially happy fellow and if I try to talk to her about it, she’s quick to say “If they have better options, would they be here?” None of them is ready to go out and hustle.

I’m a businessman, she works in a top company with a very decent salary but we have two kids now, and she’s pregnant with the third. Asides from the fact that I’m not totally comfortable with my daughter growing up amidst three men – and believe me, she’s growing up really fast.

These guys have turned to ‘professional job seekers’ (that's what they tell me when I ask them what they are doing now) and they won’t take the initiative to go fend for themselves, as long as she keeps meeting EVERY of their needs. Sometimes she’ll ask me and I’ll reply with a categorical “NO”. She’ll still find a way to collect or borrow (like she’ll pay me back) and give it to them – This thing really pisses me off. I feel like I have five children already!... and it's a luxury I can't afford.

Now, I’m about to close my eyes and send them all packing, and tell her that it’s either I remove her name as a signatory on our joint account or she stops her silly pitying habit. We need to help our families but we shouldn't go overboard because we want to help.

But the thing is, I’m scared how she will react to this. She has fragile emotions. I’m even second-guessing my decision. So should I just leave them and open another secret account and be saving? (I’ll tell her in future, why I did it) or should I stamp my foot down and chase them away? Or should I give her a monthly allocation for “Helping People”? Or… what do you think?


Thanks everyone.                                                                                                     





Kindly drop your opinions in the comment section below.

3 comments:

GET CONNECTED

November 24, 2016 Jaybee 0 Comments


So there was this video I stumbled on online with which I came to the realization that ‘sleepwalking’ in the 21st Century puts us at the risk of being surrounded by various things to learn from and grow with, but being too distracted to learn anything.

In the said video were two boys, one should be around 14 years old and the other should be around half that age. The little one would keep disturbing the older one whenever he was playing games; always trying to press a button on his game pad. So the older one thought about it and did something funny.

The next time he was playing game, he kept an extra pad beside him for his younger brother . As soon as the younger brother showed up to disturb him, he simply handed him his own gamepad and continued his game. The younger brother, very satisfied with the gesture, took his seat and concentrated on his own game too. He was fiddling with the game pad, pressing various buttons, obviously too young to realize that a fast one had been pulled on him.

The gamepad in his hands wasn’t CONNECTED! (Chai!)

As funny as that video was, I saw in it, the exact way a lot of people lived – MISCONNECTED, UNCONNECTED or DISCONNECTED. Unconsciously MISCONNECTED to the things we consciously tag as things of little or no real value; and in the process, DISCONNECTED from the things that truly matter.

Have you ever taken a minute to realize that almost every tech item or gadget only functions to its fullest capacity, when its CONNECTED to another thing? Number one thing devices depend on, is electricity. Even if your device sports the best battery, not connecting it to a power source over time would soon make the battery go DEAD. Some items (like the remote) can’t work without batteries, no matter how much you press it and beat it, it just wouldn’t work.

Our mobile phones… Haha!... these ones. You must have noticed how incomplete your device feels when you’re DISCONNECTED from your network provider’s internet service because you’re out of subscription. Or when your device is on 11% battery and just when you decide to CONNECT the charger, PHCN happens? (Lol!) Or even when you need to make an urgent call, only to see “searching for network” on your screen instead of the network bars.

Just so we know, we need to consciously CONNECT to the things we consider important, because if we don’t, we would be MISCONNECTED with time consuming trivialities. We need to consciously and intelligently set our priorities and make the right CONNECTIONS in order to experience an upsurge in every area of our lives, where we desire it.

For instance, do you want to be the next big comedian? Why not find a way to connect with top comedians in the business. The next rap star? Why not find a way to connect with A-list rappers.
Whichever career path or life phase we know we could really use some progressive and fantastic CONNECTION, trust me, we would always find people ahead of us that we could CONNECT with; giving us the chance to leverage on their knowledge, their experience, even their name, and so on, to help carve out a path for us.

A good example is AY the comedian. He hustled his way till he CONNECTED with Alibaba and successfully leveraged on the Alibaba brand, taking him as a mentor, after he came to Lagos from Warri. We all are witnesses to how that turned out for him.

While you spend valuable time on social media, just keeping up with the news and trends, your prospects might just be loitering around, waiting for you to use the same social media platform to talk about what you do, upload images of your works and add your business contact details and they begin to CONNECT with you.

 Again, this is the 21st century where various connections have not only made the world a smaller global digital village, but also made successful people from the least expected sources. The question is: What CONNECTIONS are you making, and what/Who are you CONNECTING with?

Mature Minds Talk

0 comments:

WDYT - I "THINK" I WANT A DIVORCE

November 11, 2016 Jaybee 0 Comments

 Hello Guys,

Glad to have you back on today's episode of What Do You Think. All the intro has been done last week and for those who missed it, you can check HERE.

Today is another week with another story but believe me, when you think you've seen or heard it all, come check Mature Minds Talk WDYT just to be sure. You just might surprise yourself.

Without further ado, let's jump straight to the WDYT for today.

Here we go

I "THINK" I WANT A DIVORCE

There is love in sharing is what the bib... Sorry... people, say. But if you find yourself in a marriage where your partner cannot stand sharing some things with you, then toying with the thought of divorce in your head, just like the lady in the center of this scenario might or might not be a bad idea.

Joy (not real name of course) has been happily married for three years to a very caring husband and all round gentleman and everything is going on fine... except for one thing - Joy's husband is too hygienic for her liking and he suffers from "Ordering and Arrangement OCD" (it's not grammar. use your google app).

Her husband has never shared his towel, soap, sponge, and all hell broke loose the day Joy used her husband's toothbrush only to tell him two days later. He was livid. He didn't talk to her for a week for that crime. Nothing can be out of place for ten seconds where Joy's hubby is. Sometimes he'll come back from work and without even removing his tie, start putting this and that carefully in their places.

Joy's husband, sometimes, like a man possessed, would wake up in the middle of the night and start arranging the living room, the kitchen, and any other room not well arranged, putting every single thing where they are meant to be - In the middle of the night.

She has 'tolerated' his behaviour for too long and she feels she could lose her mind if she keeps up with his OCD and over-hygienic behaviour.

So, should she just overlook that side and focus on his other good sides?

Should she go ahead and opt out of the marriage?

Should she keep praying for him or probably she needs to understand that it's a good thing to have a man who is hygienic and meticulous. Or...

...What Do You Think?



Mature Minds Talk.

0 comments:

WDYT - THE BOSS AND THE LADY

November 04, 2016 Jaybee 2 Comments

Hi there,

Welcome to MMT’s New Friday WDYT series.

So, this is the first post in a series of WDYT series and WDYT simply stands for “What Do You Think?”

In the WDYT series, we’ll be sharing true life stories and real facts that we’ve gathered by ourselves and thanks to our guest contributors who have given us express permission to share the stories.
So even if you’re too busy to comment on every other post on MMT, please, ejor, biko, mbok, your comment would definitely be needed on WYDT post because that is actually the reason why we’re putting up the post – so we get people’s opinions and maybe, just maybe your thought can be of help to either the person in question, or someone else in a similar situation. Thank you Sir’s/Ma’s.

Without further ado, let’s quickly check out the WDYT post for today. Are you ready?

Here we go!

THE BOSS AND THE LADY
So, the lady in the center of all this just got a job a month ago in Lagos. The job is a nice paying job, if N80,000 sounds good to you.

The firm is all these types that the boss only shows up once in a while – for like a month and disappears for the next two months, then reappears again. She didn’t meet THE BOSS until two weeks back. By the readjustment of every single staff when the news that THE BOSS was coming broke, she knew he was respected (feared).

The day the boss came around, she stood from her seat, greeted the boss but he wouldn’t reply. He just strolled into his office like no one was there. A couple of minutes later, the boss called the new staff and this is where the story gets a bit interesting.

The boss categorically tells the lady in question that he’s a Yoruba man and he expects his staff to greet him in a manner that conforms to his culture and tradition. Cutting out the long grammar, he expects the lady to kneel (knees touching the floor) in greeting any time she’ll be greeting him – No jokes. The lady simply said “Ok sir” and left his office.

She’s presently thinking of resigning from her job, as she just can’t cope with the greeting aspect of it. Being an Igbo lady makes it all more complicated for her and according to her, she’ll rather work for less and be happy, than work for more and disgruntled.

Is tending her resignation letter okay? Do you think she should just kneel and greet without putting her mind to it?

What piece of advice would you give the lady in question?

What Do You Think?





Mature Minds Talk.

2 comments:

HAPPY NEW NOVEMBER

November 01, 2016 Jaybee 0 Comments

Hello there,

So, someone said it’s the first day of the second to the last month already, and I had to confirm from my calendar if it was true (Lol!)… Days are literally flying by and it would indeed require conscious effort to get the maximum benefit of each day that we get. It means we need to be both consciously active and consciously prepared for opportunities. You know what they say – Victory Loves Preparation.

Who else is thankful to have successfully ticked off 305 days off the 366 for this year? Well, I am, since it is a good habit to number (take cognizance of) our days. Also, because it is was just like 3 weeks ago we counted down to a new year. Guess what? We have just one full month left in 2016.

Let me use this opportunity to say Happy New Month, and may this month be our month of Accelerated Progress. Every goal that has been pending since the beginning of the year, would be gracefully achieved this month.

Trust me, around this time is when people start to give up on some things that are yet to be ticked off in the To-Do list they made either at the beginning of the year or midyear, but I personally don't believe giving up is good mind habit.

Why give up on that thing you wish to do because there is a delay? Why throw in the towel, shake your head in despair, turn around and go home. Why? Who said delay means denial? Who said a lot can’t happen in the remaining 60 days? A whole lot in fact.

Don’t look at the end of the year (except you are a time traveler) look at the beginning of two good months that we’ve got to make something happen. Don’t allow the time left make you procrastinate or say things like “I’ll go at with 360 degrees full force in January!” What if it can be done this year? Then why shift it into the future?

We’ve got enough goals waiting for us in the future. Those ones we’ve shifted are also still waiting. Let’s grab each day of the remaining 60 with both hands and try to make the best of it. We can achieve way more than we expect if we utilize opportunities to the max. If we believe it, then it is possible.


Wishing you a fantastically amazing month ahead.



Cheers!


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