EVERYONE I'VE EVER HAD SEX WITH.
Aaron
C:
Incredibly
dashing and charismatic boy whose smile seemed to rest on the lips of every
girl in the city. We ‘dated’ for two weeks and when he finally got it in with
the help of a cherry flavored condom, he lit a candle just before the deed went
down. We may have been listening to Radiohead or Tom Waits. I don’t remember
much else; at least I had virginity out of the way.
Sean:
My
high school’s hottest jock. We spent the summer after he graduated sneaking
around our neighborhood fucking and blazing and not having a single
conversation worth repeating.
Ron:
My
first "real" boyfriend. Whip-smart and beautiful and far too
motivated for my just-graduated-high-school hazy mind. I wanted to smoke weed
and he wanted to become a cultivated
filmmaker-artist-musician-chef-carpenter-martial-arts-master. The sex was
decent at best but we made up for that by doing it very often.
Chris:
An
old family friend and what had been my first kiss that I must have had a few
leftover feelings for. The sex was terrible but at least it happened in a tent
overlooking the ocean after a long evening of singing around the campfire and
holding hands.
Frank:
At
seventeen I went to Europe with my best friend, and not a few days after
claiming I would likely never have a one night stand, I went home with a sweet
but kind of pompous rich London boy. It was his birthday, his house was massive
and had a recording studio, he ate me out while I was on my period and in the
morning I met his mother.
Matt
D:
Budding
musician, golden goof. I would bop around his then-sparsely populated shows and
we’d go have sex in his bedroom that was actually a water closet, he’d light a
cigarette in the dark even though the room was windowless, and we’d cuddle as
tightly as possible 'cus the heating was out.
Brian:
I
showed up in this guy’s bed one night because I was bored and lonely over the
never ending raincloud existence of the city. We went on a few dates but I
would generally just show up at his place late at night stoned as a rock and
unwilling to roll another to share.
Austin:
A
prolonged affair that started drunk out of our minds on whiskey on our mutual
friend’s leather couch, until the sun rose. Then we went out on the back porch
and fucked more. The rest of that summer was filled with similar events. He was
sexy like a god is sexy and was always a little drunk and belligerent; we had a
good time.
Mark:
That
same summer’s other fuck buddy. He was kind of an asshole but the chemistry was
there and the sex was mind blowing. Though we had a lot in common the
conversation was always stilted and coded. Looking back, I think we were both
just nervous and didn’t know what we wanted out of one another.
The
Viking:
Danced
with him all night to old school R&B and walked around the city holding
hands and chatting about transcending time. He was someone that I would walk
past in my neighborhood for years previous to then and wonder about because of
his hip-length blonde hair, huge beard, squinty green mischevious eyes, and
high-pitched voice. I saw him at the same bar the next week and went back to
his loft that was filled with classical Japanese art. The sex was ok but the
hair was weird – I had a shaved head at the time and his kept getting caught on
just about everything.
Matt
G:
Hands
down the worst sex I’ve ever had. We went on a few dates and ended up back on
his fold out couch at his parent’s house one night. He didn’t know what rhythm
was, mentioned that he might have peed in me, and asked why I was getting on
top “like you’re the guy.” Then he said stuff about child porn and bestiality
and I never talked to him again.
Leo:
He
bought me flowers after a bike accident left my face looking wanting. We hung
out every day for weeks and finally hooked up one night in the back of his
shared studio. Such was the beginning of a very long and irritating
miscommunication spiral, but the sex was sweet and awesome.
Jesse:
Called
me out of the blue insisting I meet him on the beach late at night, even though
I’d only met him once or twice before. He gave me a dead person’s silver
retainer (he used to work at a crematorium and had a collection going) and took
me out for wine. We spent the few weeks before I moved away bumming around
drinking more wine and watching foreign films, and one night had sex in the
tree house in my parent’s backyard while listening to Pere Ubu.
Aaron
B:
Bored
and desperate living in a new city with old friends, he ended up in my bed
after a night of drinking in my living room. Big ego with not much to show for
it, but our friendship seemed more sincere afterwards.
John:
Aaron
B’s best friend. He would also show up in my bed after nights of drinking, but
it went on for a few weeks instead of just one night. Biggest penis I’ve ever
seen but he didn’t seem to know what to do with it, or maybe we just had no
chemistry.
Laurent:
Second
‘real’ boyfriend. We would eat fancy brunch, be socially awkward, get into
arguments about the Western notion of the self, and stay in bed for days. He
spoiled me and I thank him for that. The sex was great but our minds were
pointed in very different directions.
????
The
roommate of my best friend’s boyfriend. This was a nice end to a long day of
doing shrooms at the beach and all over the city, and I feel terrible that I
can’t remember his name. He brought me juice in the morning and I haven’t seen
him since, as I left the city that same day.
Glen:
Met
him one night at a show and immediately felt attached; he was a total
sweetheart who knew how to make anyone smile. It got too real too fast — I
really liked him and he had just gotten out of a long term relationship - but the
few times we had sex, it was great.
Zander:
Him
and his ex-girlfriend and musical partner watched me eat pho alone one night
from a table across the restaurant, and he told me about how cute it was at a
show a few days later. On New Years, we were both in a different city at a show
they were playing; we all took MDMA and had a great night. Back in the first
city him and I started hanging out every Saturday drinking whiskey and dancing
to Aphex Twin in empty rooms and making out like mad. The sex was fabulous, and
when we happen to both be in the same city, it still is.
Travis:
He
was the only late comer to the bush camp we were living out of while
tree-planting, and I was immediately interested in his 6’7” gentle giant
existence and unwavering eye contact. We moved into the same tent a week or two
later and spent the rest of that time having awesome sun-burnt sex and watching
fireflies and lightning storms.
James:
Our
first conversation was about his foot fetish; his unwavering honesty and humor
and general babeliness moved me to give him my number. The first few times we
had sex seemed off, like we didn’t know each other well enough. Not much later
he moved a half a block away from me and we became quasi-inseparable. We
decided at one point to just be platonic friends until the sexual tension broke
like a waterfall. Now I’m waiting patiently for him to return from a trip to
see where we both stand.
Mature Minds Talk.
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