SECRETS, LOVE AND TRUST
From time to time, I
always remember the story Simi told me a couple of years ago. How could I
forget? Simi was someone with one of the most intriguing stories I've heard. Her story
sounded like something you'd only stumble on, in movies or some sort of fiction,
only a mischievous writer could come up with. How open should you be with
a prospective spouse?
She was an orphan, who
had been forced into early motherhood, as she had to take responsibility for
her three younger siblings. She was just in her first year in the University, and
thanks to her level of exposure and information; she had resorted to a “by any
means necessary” way of life. She juggled two businesses by day and joined up
with fellow hookers by night. She kept her night life a secret and not even
Lizzy, her best friend knew what she was up to at night. She graduated with a
2.1 and sponsored her siblings through school.
“She did what she had
to do”.
She had met Roland
soon after securing a job with ABC multinational Oil and Gas Company and he was
her supervisor. She was the hardest worker in the room, so he’d rather work with
her, than any other person on the team. Feelings crept in and they started
going out. Over time, Simi had familiarized herself over various phone calls,
with Roland’s parents. Three and half years later, he proposed.
They had talked about
their past – Roland told her how he battled with masturbation and kleptomania
during his teenage years. She had also told him about the death of her parents
and how she managed to raise three kids all by herself. Also, how she used to
be sexually attracted to both genders, into her early twenties. They both knew
all that there was to know… except a minute detail. She didn’t tell Roland
about her past “Night Life”.
Every time she came
close to spilling it, her courage would fail her. “Some parts of the past are
better left hidden away.” she’ll tell herself and shrug off the urge to tell
him. Roland now owned his own oil and gas company, but Simi still worked with
ABC Oil and Gas Company. The future was looking good for the intending couple.
Roland’s parents were both based in the States, after his Mum threatened to
come back if his Dad didn’t come join her.
Simi was to finally
meet her prospective in-laws for the first time. They had travelled down. Roland
drove her to their abode in Magodo. The house looked magnificent and everything
had a touch of class… but there was a problem. A huge problem, in fact. Right
there on the wall, staring at her was an image of someone that took her right
back to her night life – Her sugar daddy back in the days. He had met her at
Allen Avenue and he played a significant role in her life.
Ten months of a lot of
s3x, a lot of money, and a lot of lies. Oh, and it didn’t go without three
abortions too. The part of her past she believed was dead and buried, was all
up, right in her face. Roland’s parents would make their way down the stairs any
minute now, and the ground had better swallowed her up, than shamelessly sit down
in front of “Papa D”.
"When opening up to a
partner, is it right to leave some parts of your past out?"
"If you find out a
filthy past about your partner, would you feel betrayed?"
"Would you rather lie
and keep a loved one, or say the truth and lose them?"
"Can trust, when
broken, ever be rebuilt like new?"
Secrets, Love and
Trust.
Mature Minds Talk
Brilliant...
ReplyDeleteA truth left untold will frequently be the one that either make or mar a relationship (friendship or romantic relationship) because half truths atimes are always more times than none likened to a lie.
If we choose to make it subjective on whatever anyones reasons might be to with-hold the truth,on the long run we would discover the truth can never be overrated. Yeah, we claim kill me with the truth than save my life with a lie.. But can we really handle telling the truth or hearing it
Its a big decision and for a big heart.
If roland knew simi was a one time hooker who spent three of her eggs on his dad within ten months would he still wife her.. But he also deserves the truth yeah
My point is one way or another he would have found out. And in reality thats the fact, we can never keep the truth away forever
Its better revealed from the inside than from the outside
I pray we find the courage to always realise the gift of saying truth and diligence in telling it. Thats what keeps building trust.. A lie or truth with-held can cause huge damage and question the validity of other truths told.
So my answer to the questions asked..
If i found out a filthy past, ild love to hear the full details first even though i might feel betrayed and then pray about it. And uld agree with me that one way or another we have all sinned
But for simi's case we cant get married
Its never good to build a relationship on half truth. Come out on a clean slate.
So i think for me sincerity is key
Trust when broken, can become new but it would take deliberate effort to give it another chance and ofcourse it wiould take time.