WHEN WILL YOU MARRY?
The statement hardly
ever sounds like “When will you marry” though… Where I’m from, It sounds more
like “Oga when you go marry na?” and trust me, that’s putting it mildly behind
those that’ll slap it in your face and blurt out “Aunty go and marry!” *Ghen
ghen*. I don’t know about your continent, but in an African home, you don’t
need to be a detective to pick up these signs, especially when everyone starts
expecting you either to be married by now, or to have a prospective spouse.
But no, you’re there
forming strategic planner and keen observer, when you should already be
discussing with an event planner and wedding IV designer. Remember you said
2017 is the year. News Flash – After today, we have just 7 Saturdays to go.
While you’re still doing “Skiyaa!”, all your mates have gone “Skidiki Pa Pa!”
and their wedding ceremonies have gone “Kuku Skruuu Boom!” If you don’t know,
now you know. When will you marry? What are you scared of?
I’m just on my way
back from a wedding ceremony and this particular wedding is a special one. Let
me tell you why. The bride is like a big aunty to me, and trust me when I say
the bride isn’t a young lady (I’ll just call her “Aunty”). Aunty’s immediate older
brother is married with two grown kids. My big bro, who I went with to the
ceremony is married with three kids, and he’s very much younger than Aunty.
In an African home,
cases like Aunty’s gets spiritual at some point, as some people would begin to
wonder if you’ve been married in the spirit realm and your spirit husband
wouldn’t allow men track your GPS in the physical realm. Ladies would relate
when I say the pressure can be real sometimes. Civilization has done all it
can, but the result has simply been – Ladies are no longer shipped off like
cargoes to their betrothed, and are no longer becoming number six, nine, or
twelve in the wives’ roaster.
If you’ve read to this
point, let me ask you a question – “How soon can you get on a train whose rails
lead to eternity?” or simply put “What exactly is the point, rushing with
someone into an agreement that lasts a life time?” A wise man once gave a reply
to the question “When is the right time to get married?” and he said “When that
inner voice vindicates the thought in your head, and the timing tallies with
that of your prospective spouse”.
Marriage is not in any
way a certification of wholeness. It’s not the pathway to the fulfillment of your
destiny, and neither does it in any way guarantee your ‘happily ever after’. If
anyone tells you otherwise, stay away from them. You don’t need that kind of
pressure. The most popular blogger in Nigeria is a single lady, and every time
she achieves a feat, the next question a lot of people raise is “When will you
marry?” The heck?! Seriously?!
You mean she has
suddenly lost her right to achievements and fulfillment in life just because
she’s single? Marriage is an extremely sacred institution, and those pressuring
others into it, are part of those responsible for how dilapidated the
institution is today. So my dear single brethren, the next time someone asks
you “When will you marry?” Just smile and say “When it’s time, you’ll know”.
End of story.
Cheers!
PS: If for any reason,
you’ve decided to remain single, you have every right to your decision. In
fact, I hold you in very high esteem. Accept my dab offering.
Mature Minds Talk.
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